Funcyclopedia

“The Krows” are an underground cult group based out of Roorkee, India. Their current legal status as reported by the UN stands at ‘Wanted Alive or Hunted’. After being quite active for a period of time, thay have remained dormant for the past 2 months. Followers of the cult fear that the leaders of this still very young society might have been taken under political custody. The only pro-Krow recognized govt. in the world, Govt. of Kroatia is under a lot of public pressure to take a firm stand and demand the details of the suspected happenings be revealed. That remains the status quo at the moment and we’ll be keeping track as this potentially cataclysmic story unfolds. Before we leave you, however, here some of the world famous personalities giving their opinion, or as we should put it, two hoots, on the cult. May God help us all!!
For Al Jazeera, this is Dheela Fadheela with cameraman Chuck Norris reporting from outside Municipality Centre, Motihari.

Barack Obama: “When I said, America is a land of opportunity, I never thought people like them would turn up! I shall be talking about reopening the Guantanamo Bay, exclusively for them!”

Sam Neill as Dr. Alan Grant: “I heard what Obama said and I know a couple of things about being chased around by birds. And I’ll only say ‘Krows find a way’.”

Kylie Menopause: “I wanna chiggy wiggy with them boys!!!”

Will-I-Am: “I thank them for recognizing me for my true self. I shall never forget the honour they gave me when choosing my song as their official anthem. Gotta get get!!”

The Pope: “I have never admitted this before but I think they’re kinda hot.”

Manmohan Singh: “I always wanted to pick their brains about the Kashmir issue, but just when I was to meet them at the appointed time given by them, they went to attend Maharaj Shankar’s ‘Palak jhapakte hi car gaayab’ magic show. I always felt that was the day we lost it all.”

Jose Mourinho: “I retract my earlier statement. They and not me are the special ones.”

Darth Vader: “Luke! They are your grandfathers.”

Oscar Wilde: “They’re sexy! Almost as much as I am.”

The Joker: “You wanna know how I got these scars?! When I was a little boy, The Krows turned up in our neighborhood to bless the children. When I was put forward, they realized the force was unusually strong in me. So they decided to take me under their wings. You know, the pun there is actually intended. But when I was taken to their secret lair, oh screw that, I was never awesome enough to be in their kompany, for which they specially had Vincent Kompany. You really wanna know, how I got these scars?!”

Kosmo Kramer: “They all use my special cologne, The Beach. I couldn’t be more excited. Giddy up!!”

Paris Hilton: “Would they like do, you know…..”

Barney Stinson: “All my life, I have tried to be half as awesome as they are. And let’s face it, nobody ain’t half as awesome as me, so that’s how awesome they are!!”

Alexander Leslie Graham: "They is the only people I is allow to enter the West Staines Massive and do it with me Julie. Booyakasha!'

World Recognition for the Movement

In a surprising development, the Krow movement has been featured on the Time magazine cover page. Followers of the religion will be particularly happy to know that the Krows did this after usurping other favourites like Cognizance (notice the lack of a 'K'), Jigndog, Trainin' N Placemen' Cell and Entrepenuer Degradement Cell.
This could prove to be the requisite shot in the arm, that this religion called for. Critics and experts alike have hailed the religion and touted it to be the next big thing after Pamela Anderson's enormously huge cans.
They are flying high and can only go higher! _m/




















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The Krow Kode

The Krow Kode is a living document which is not yet publicly available in an unabridged volume. The original document is housed in a non-disclosed location, two stories beneath sea level in a vacuum-sealed bulletproof chamber. Re-printed here is a sampling of some of her articles. Learn. Live. Krow up. _m/

1. Krows before hoes.

2. You must maintain a frequently updated blog. If you can't update a blog often enough, don't start it in the first place. Some blog is NOT better than no blog.

3. You must never look directly into the camera while posing for a snap.

4. No two krows must dress up alike for a Krow Meet. Every krow must have his own Unique Kauwsomeness Point. To sound more impressive, this shall be called UKP (TM) from here on.

5. You must never 'like' quiz results on Facebook. It's lame. Status updates are excusable.

6. A krow will, in a timely manner, alert his krow to the existence of a hot girl or a fellow krow.

7. Krows shall never mention 'The List' in public. Oops. Delete clause.

8. You must use smileys and emoticons extensively in chat sessions.

9. You must listen to the Krow Anthem at least once every day.

10. The Krow Movement does not end until every living human being has his own UKP (TM).

11. You must memorize the Krow Kode.

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